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Furniture was also damaged during the scuffle. I clung onto a metal pole in the kitchen shelves or an accordion curtain between the rooms when trying not to be dragged by them. As they pulled me forcefully, the metal pole was distorted and the accordion curtain was torn and damaged.
Around that time, my brother stayed in the room all the time and continued to monitor me. When an opportunity arose, I moved to room B and tried to turn the knob of the door (door D) to attempt to escape. The door could not be opened even if I turned the knob, or pushed or pulled.
At the time, my brother was in position C and said, “People steal like bandits.” It is clear that he meant, “It was good to lock door D to prevent you from escaping.” My family prevented me from reaching the front door by locking door D in order to stop my escape. This was done as a countermeasure of my actions.
I repeated fierce resistance for a month. Miyamura visited the apartment once during my resistance. He came in the first day I started my resistance. When I approached the front door, my brother immediately caught me and signaled my sister with a wink and saying “Hey.” She called Miyamura over a mobile phone. Miyamura rushed to the apartment, and he saw me being pushed down on the floor by my brother. Miyamura came in front of my head, and yelled, “What the hell are you doing? Don’t mess around.” He remained in the apartment for a while to observe the situation, and then he left.
Miyamura came to the apartment immediately after my brother and sister contacted him on the mobile phone. It is understood that there was an arrangement between my family and Miyamura. It is evident that Miyamura was behind my family for my forcible conversion and confinement, and that Miyamura received information from my family and my family acted based on Miyamura’s instructions.
One day, I stood up on the edge of the bathtub, opened the ventilation hole and shouted, “Can someone hear me? I’m confined here. Please call police.” That was when Miyamura came over to the apartment for the second time in my resistance. It looked like my family had informed Miyamura. Miyamura came in the bathroom, grabbed my collar from behind and hauled me out of the bathroom, then dragged me to the room in the far back. At that time, as I had grabbed some electric appliances in an attempt not to be dragged, they all fell. When I was taken to the room by force, I fiercely banged on the desk with my both fists in rage and yelled, “Stop fooling around. That’s enough. Get me out of here.” Miyamura murmured, “This guy is useless.” Then he left the apartment.
I started to suffer from an unspeakable sinking feeling and despair, as all my attempts to escape had failed and the security of my confinement room became tighter. I sometimes vaguely kept on looking at the light thrown from blurred windows with metal wire embedded within, which prevented me from seeing outside. It was too cruel and unbearable to accept reality. I was trembling in fear that I would lose myself and go mad in this situation. At last, even my drive to resist was lost, and I was forced to be in a mental status that I had to give up the use of force in the escape plan.
On the other hand, around this time, videotapes, a headphone, a portable light stand, etc. were brought in the room even if I didn’t demand them. My brother brought many books. In order to escape from the unacceptable situation, I omnivorously read the books. I started to watch TV as they brought a headphone. I could temporarily forget the miserable reality, but my gloomy feelings never cleared up.
Since then, until my first hunger strike in April 2004, my family hardly conducted conversion work on me. Miyamura stopped visiting the room. I suspect that they feared that I would take the case to court. I learned after my release that Christian pastor Mamoru Takazawa, who had a close relationship with Miyamura, lost a lawsuit in April 2000, which was one year before Miyamura stopped visiting the apartment. In that lawsuit, a Unification Church member who had been a victim of confinement and forcible conversion filed a lawsuit against the Christian pastor.
Even though Miyamura stopped coming to the room, he continued to confine me. If Miyamura released me, he feared that I would file a complaint. My family and Miyamura continued to confine me to keep my mouth shut so their criminal acts would not be revealed. I condemned them by saying, “I’ll take the matter to court. You’ll be criminals.” My accusation must have pressured them.
Around this time I had an idea to throw a letter, and I tore one page from a notebook and wrote a message on it, “My name is Toru Goto. I’m confined on an upper floor of this apartment building. Anyone who sees this, please contact the Unification Church. I’ll pay you a reward.” I tried to carry out the plan. But the reinforced glass with metal wires inside was not easily broken. Even if I could throw a letter from the window, if it went wrong, I didn’t know what kind of revenge I would receive from my captors.
Therefore I could not help but hesitate to carry out the plan. I was overpowered every time I approached the front door. I had received lots of violence and I had gotten injured. Such incidents were recalled, and the determination to carry out the plan wilted. After wavering, I tore the paper up and flushed it down the toilet. I was prostrated with despair and I used to think, “I shall be determined to live here for the rest of my life.”